Thursday January 7th 2010- info on surgery

Yesterday I went for my meeting with the neuro surgeon (Dr. Ryan) to discuss the procedure. I came home feeling completely ill. I am confident in my two surgeons and have heard nothing but great things about both of them. There is great comfort in that! However, my little fear gremlin is running around the house willy nilly. Here's what brought that little guy in yesterday... they will have to make an incision in my stomach to take fat (there's lots to choose from) and it will be used to pack my head where they go in to grab the tumor. The other thing I did not know is that they will be putting a valve in my spine in case of a spinal leak. Those two things were new to me. On the bright side, I have an extreme deviated septum which the ENT will fix on their way out of my head. Two surgeries for the price of one....yay!

I will be setting up a group on Facebook that anyone can join for updates while I'm in the hospital. I am blessed with many FB friends that are praying and sending good energy to me and the doctors. The challenge for me is trusting that all will be fine. That is what I call living fearlessly. One step at a time...one moment at a time...letting go and letting God. Another challenge is asking for help during and after surgery. I won't be able to drive for at least two weeks after being home which cramps my independent style. There are so many lessons coming out of this! My prayer is that I can see the goodness in all of them. A friend of mine busted me on the phone the other night about taking care of myself first at this time. While we were on the phone, I got a couple of calls from friends who needed me...and I can easily focus on them rather than my own stuff. Today, I am thankful that I have people in my life that will call me out on my own avoidance of reality.

Let the people you love know it...that's my wisdom today....you never know.
Lots of love and gratitude!
Josie