So much happened this week that I can't begin to sort it out. I have had a long ( one year or so) awaited conversation. I feel free in some ways having said what I need to say...at least in part. You know, when a conversation goes on and on in your head and you don't sleep for months.
Yeah, that's what this was.
I finally got a breath in the midst of toxic thoughts. Unfortunately and fortunately freedom comes when we face our demons. You may ask, "what is fortunate about that?" What is fortunate about having to face demons?
Well, demons teach us...at least this one taught me. It taught me about trust.
What else happened this week? I began to move my studio from Orr Street Studios to my wet basement. This is a challenging place for me. What I know is that in a challenge like this, I am not alone.... tonight a friend of mine offered to transport my easel which is oddly tall. I am thinking about hiring another friend who is beautifully gifted in organization to help me set up my next awesome space. I believe that I can and will create a working studio under my house.
With this ending at Orr Street , I am taking this as a challenge from life. I want to spread my art out beyond the Columbia borders...beyond the Missouri borders...beyond this side of the Mason Dixon line....beyond...dare I say, our country's borders.
Lately I have been spending a lot of time in the garden. I'm trying my hand at growing my own food. I've never done this at the level I'm attempting. Ok, so I've made a hit every year at "sweet one hundreds" ...little tiny tomatoes that are better than popcorn.
So, this year I have stretched to the limits. I planted three yellow squash plants (in hopes to finally learn how to make yummy yellow squash casserole), eight dill, one cucumber , one cantaloupe, many Rutgers tomatoes( to the point that it may be "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", and two Okra plants. I have no idea what these plants want or need but I suspect I will soon.
I think that the loss of the studio has given me another look at life. My joker side says yeah... can we say poverty? And then, that little kid inside of me says...don't give up....there are people just around the corner who need and want art....and who need and want to explore their own art.
I am choosing to listen to her. The one that sold art on the streets of Chicago at the age of 5,6,7. That's the spirit of a child. So willing...So eager....
So creative..... I hope I never lose her/ME!
P.S. I want to put a visual up with this blog post because I always do....and.... I haven't found one yet that really fits.