Monday, January 11, 2010

January 11, 2010

I have not been able to really describe what is happening and what I am's just driving me mad. I listen to music to "soothe the soul" to say..... I want to share it...and yet I want to share this......happy music later.... this is my favorite movie for it's time....and the love shared here is what I want to share tonight.

Friday, January 8, 2010


Counting down the days and doing the things that I NEED to do. I'm also spending endless hours or at least minutes playing three towers solitaire on facebook. It's one of the things that takes my mind away for a while.

Music also helps me focus, process and feel. So sometimes ...HA...a lot of times I feature music here on my blog. I find musicians to be totally fearless! While I love living in and exploring the visual world, I appreciate the world of sound as another kind of goodness outlet.

Here's my pick for old favorite.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Thursday January 7th 2010- info on surgery

Yesterday I went for my meeting with the neuro surgeon (Dr. Ryan) to discuss the procedure. I came home feeling completely ill. I am confident in my two surgeons and have heard nothing but great things about both of them. There is great comfort in that! However, my little fear gremlin is running around the house willy nilly. Here's what brought that little guy in yesterday... they will have to make an incision in my stomach to take fat (there's lots to choose from) and it will be used to pack my head where they go in to grab the tumor. The other thing I did not know is that they will be putting a valve in my spine in case of a spinal leak. Those two things were new to me. On the bright side, I have an extreme deviated septum which the ENT will fix on their way out of my head. Two surgeries for the price of one....yay!

I will be setting up a group on Facebook that anyone can join for updates while I'm in the hospital. I am blessed with many FB friends that are praying and sending good energy to me and the doctors. The challenge for me is trusting that all will be fine. That is what I call living fearlessly. One step at a moment at a time...letting go and letting God. Another challenge is asking for help during and after surgery. I won't be able to drive for at least two weeks after being home which cramps my independent style. There are so many lessons coming out of this! My prayer is that I can see the goodness in all of them. A friend of mine busted me on the phone the other night about taking care of myself first at this time. While we were on the phone, I got a couple of calls from friends who needed me...and I can easily focus on them rather than my own stuff. Today, I am thankful that I have people in my life that will call me out on my own avoidance of reality.

Let the people you love know it...that's my wisdom never know.
Lots of love and gratitude!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What a day.....

...I started the day chasing a was right there.
I even put my new "dream book" under the pillow that Scout sleeps against so that I can grab it..just in case. ...

Well, after the dream scuttled out of the house through all of the quick & twisted corridors, I had to face the day. It was a day of seeing Doctors...accepting help from a friend who was and is amazing!
... having freaky photos done of my head...inside out....blood test..urine..chats with an anesthesiologist about the "wheezing".... gracious...I'm finally done with this 28 hour day....

BTW- The Punch Brothers are playing here on Wednesday night at the Missouri Theatre... I highly recommend! Here's a taste ...a tiny little bitty tiny little taste...but one of my favorites. Get your tickets soon.

XO Josie

Sunday, January 3, 2010

She fights in her sleep...

This is a find that I think is totally worthy of sharing...