I have not been able to really describe what is happening and what I am feeling....it's just driving me mad. I listen to music to "soothe the soul"...so to say..... I want to share it...and yet I want to share this......happy music later.... this is my favorite movie for it's time....and the love shared here is what I want to share tonight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ-4rPxT-YI
Showing posts with label pituitary tumor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pituitary tumor. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Thursday January 7th 2010- info on surgery
Yesterday I went for my meeting with the neuro surgeon (Dr. Ryan) to discuss the procedure. I came home feeling completely ill. I am confident in my two surgeons and have heard nothing but great things about both of them. There is great comfort in that! However, my little fear gremlin is running around the house willy nilly. Here's what brought that little guy in yesterday... they will have to make an incision in my stomach to take fat (there's lots to choose from) and it will be used to pack my head where they go in to grab the tumor. The other thing I did not know is that they will be putting a valve in my spine in case of a spinal leak. Those two things were new to me. On the bright side, I have an extreme deviated septum which the ENT will fix on their way out of my head. Two surgeries for the price of one....yay!
I will be setting up a group on Facebook that anyone can join for updates while I'm in the hospital. I am blessed with many FB friends that are praying and sending good energy to me and the doctors. The challenge for me is trusting that all will be fine. That is what I call living fearlessly. One step at a time...one moment at a time...letting go and letting God. Another challenge is asking for help during and after surgery. I won't be able to drive for at least two weeks after being home which cramps my independent style. There are so many lessons coming out of this! My prayer is that I can see the goodness in all of them. A friend of mine busted me on the phone the other night about taking care of myself first at this time. While we were on the phone, I got a couple of calls from friends who needed me...and I can easily focus on them rather than my own stuff. Today, I am thankful that I have people in my life that will call me out on my own avoidance of reality.
Let the people you love know it...that's my wisdom today....you never know.
Lots of love and gratitude!
Josie
I will be setting up a group on Facebook that anyone can join for updates while I'm in the hospital. I am blessed with many FB friends that are praying and sending good energy to me and the doctors. The challenge for me is trusting that all will be fine. That is what I call living fearlessly. One step at a time...one moment at a time...letting go and letting God. Another challenge is asking for help during and after surgery. I won't be able to drive for at least two weeks after being home which cramps my independent style. There are so many lessons coming out of this! My prayer is that I can see the goodness in all of them. A friend of mine busted me on the phone the other night about taking care of myself first at this time. While we were on the phone, I got a couple of calls from friends who needed me...and I can easily focus on them rather than my own stuff. Today, I am thankful that I have people in my life that will call me out on my own avoidance of reality.
Let the people you love know it...that's my wisdom today....you never know.
Lots of love and gratitude!
Josie
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I'm finally feeling all of this *#@! fearlessly!
When I started this blog, I imagined images of "fearless creativity". I could see the visual creativity. Well, after all that's my thing. I can also hear creativity...even louder when it's FEARLESS. I can hear it in a conversation...sometimes it's the calmest voice of the group. I didn't grow up with the "fearless" voice being the softest. No, in fact, it was quite the opposite.
My intention here was to offer ideas and incentives to be fearless in your own life. As my own interests grew larger and I had my own studio, I lost that mission along the way. I'm not downgrading my blog in any way...mind that! I think that I have shared some absolutely precious finds! There are things in the bowels of this blog that will scratch on the inside of your skull! I am proud of those and they will remain in the "older posts".
Now, I am looking to share more of my thoughts and personal ....personal...personal... geez. What is it. LIFE...that is quite personal. Ok, so...as of today, I am dealing with a scary thing. It was scary two years ago and then it was not. It was just a thing then. A yearly thing....kinda like a pap smear. Only this was an MRI of my brain. The first two years gave me the feeling like it was smooth sailing all the way to Greece (my dream after watching 'Shirley Valentine' ). Anyway, this year the MRI showed that this little growth had flowered in my brain. After all the tending of that cantaloupe in my garden that yielded nothing, and still my brain had another idea. Well, so here I am with this years growth. I wanted it to be something else...like better okra or more tomatoes or squash that didn't rot from alien bugs that came from the next yard I'm sure.
All that to say, my brain is working over time and my garden is perishing. So, I have a growth that has to be pruned on the most important bulb of my brain. It's going to happen on January 12th. I don't know about fearless "creativity" but I do know that this is fearless living. I am trusting in the kindness of friends and strangers to help me step up to the plate...so to say. In the next two weeks I will go through tests and meetings and a CT scan to prepare...and I will come back here...maybe not to lay it all out so much as to share what little thing or sound or artwork helped in that day at that time. So, if I put up a link that touches me for that day...well, I hope it touches you too!
With tears,
Josie
My intention here was to offer ideas and incentives to be fearless in your own life. As my own interests grew larger and I had my own studio, I lost that mission along the way. I'm not downgrading my blog in any way...mind that! I think that I have shared some absolutely precious finds! There are things in the bowels of this blog that will scratch on the inside of your skull! I am proud of those and they will remain in the "older posts".
Now, I am looking to share more of my thoughts and personal ....personal...personal... geez. What is it. LIFE...that is quite personal. Ok, so...as of today, I am dealing with a scary thing. It was scary two years ago and then it was not. It was just a thing then. A yearly thing....kinda like a pap smear. Only this was an MRI of my brain. The first two years gave me the feeling like it was smooth sailing all the way to Greece (my dream after watching 'Shirley Valentine' ). Anyway, this year the MRI showed that this little growth had flowered in my brain. After all the tending of that cantaloupe in my garden that yielded nothing, and still my brain had another idea. Well, so here I am with this years growth. I wanted it to be something else...like better okra or more tomatoes or squash that didn't rot from alien bugs that came from the next yard I'm sure.
All that to say, my brain is working over time and my garden is perishing. So, I have a growth that has to be pruned on the most important bulb of my brain. It's going to happen on January 12th. I don't know about fearless "creativity" but I do know that this is fearless living. I am trusting in the kindness of friends and strangers to help me step up to the plate...so to say. In the next two weeks I will go through tests and meetings and a CT scan to prepare...and I will come back here...maybe not to lay it all out so much as to share what little thing or sound or artwork helped in that day at that time. So, if I put up a link that touches me for that day...well, I hope it touches you too!
With tears,
Josie
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